Life is a game of ups and downs; you win some, you lose some. And it’s not the successes that are character-building circumstances, but the failures. Hence, to ensure that loss becomes a means of strength, you need to know how to cope with it.
Falling Down & Getting Up – A Lesson of Resilience
Albert Einstein was labeled as “mentally slow” in school. John Grisham faced twenty-eight rejections for his first novel. Steve Jobs was fired from the first organization he worked for.
These are all tales of failures. Yet these names are associated with enormous successes. The reason? These people did not let their failures define them. And neither should you.
Therefore, the lesson is that there’s more to life than that loss in personal, academic, or work life you just faced. You will be able to cope with it. And here are a few ways to bounce back in life after a failure:
1. Embracing negative emotions trumps ignoring them.
Sadness, anger, despair, and whatever negative emotions come to you after a failure—let them in. Do what makes you feel good to eliminate these feelings, but at no cost should you avoid them.
By straying from accepting reality, you may undertake unhealthy coping mechanisms, which make getting back to a positive self significantly longer.
So, express your sadness. Also, let out that anger. Talk it out or throw around some punches at the gym—whatever suits you.
2. Learn to be accountable and avoid repetition.
One of the most common reasons why many people find it tricky to recover from failure is the blame game. Blaming family or friends, the social or economic circumstances, politics, even that faulty piece of appliance in their home—there’s much fault to be found.
The only place they avoid putting blame is on themselves. And that’s what keeps them from getting back up.
By holding yourself accountable, you get to fix the mistakes that caused the failure. Above all, you learn that the only person who is responsible for the actions and reactions is you!
3. Seek out stories of resilience and recovery.
There’s light at the end of the tunnel. To get to that turn faster, where you can finally see that glimmer, you need to talk to and learn from others who’ve been through the darkness.
It can be your friends or family who you know have been through hardships and are now faring well. There’s a mentor like your teacher or a senior colleague. Or an inspirational speaker whose words resonate with you often.
There’s a world full of people around you who can come forward with stories of failures followed by success, and that too with failures that were considerably more awful. Therefore, hear them out, dive into the moral of their story, and seek advice from them to get your confidence back.
4. Don’t hesitate to lean on those who care for you.
More on the topic of other people, learn to accept support from others. While it’s natural to associate getting help with the deterioration of pride after a failure, know that it’s okay to allow the empathy, sympathy, and assistance others have to offer.
Put yourself in another person’s shoes, someone you care about. Wouldn’t you offer them help and want to see them out of their despair?
Similarly, people around you are there to help for the sake of improving your life. Staying humble in winning is easier than doing so in failure, as the need to lash out or distance yourself is perfectly natural.
So, if you want to bounce back after a failure, accept the lending hand, the shoulder to cry on, the sympathetic ear. You need these power tools to build yourself back up!
5. Make a plan & follow with a realistic approach.
Use your failure as the foundation to construct a success. Firstly, assess the shortcomings and missing variables in your last attempt, and fill the gaps in the next round. Then, establish clear, achievable goals, preferably divided into smaller steps, to avoid getting overwhelmed.
Additionally, know what you did wrong, and turn it all around. Next, get a new perspective on things with some inspiration from others. Finally, give your new plan all you’ve got, channel your passion, and go ahead with your head held up and as much support as offered to you.
You’ve got it!
As a public speaker and resilience speaker with a life experience rich with hardships and hard work, Chidi Iwuchukwu offers words of inspiration that resonate with people in different life circumstances. If you want to book him for your next public speaking or corporate event for exceptional insights and morals, reach out today!